FMLPhotoblog

2006-08-02T16:03:00.000-07:00

In defense of Riggs

Ok, so he hates jews. Does that make him a bad person? I mean, really?

Maybe a little?

I don't think it matters much that Mel Gibson hates jews. I wrote him off as swivelheaded crazy a long time ago when he started making movies about cool guys that get tortured to death (way to flog a dead martyr, Melvin). So, his daddy thinks that the Holocaust didn't happen or thinks that it wasn't quite as awful as everyone believes. So, he thinks his wife is going to Hell for backing the wrong horse. So, he's an awful suicidal drunk and calls female police officers "Sugar Tits." He's buggier than a bums blanket and deep down, we all kinda knew it didn't we? So why are we surprised?

Is it because he's gorgeous? I mean absolutely freakin' handsome?

Is it because he's a Christian?

Is it because he's rich?

Is it because he's politically conservative?

For me, it's because he's being Riggs.

Think about it - Riggs was a loose cannon, weeping over the loss of his wife, bottle in hand, gun in mouth - ready to embrace the oblivion by painting the back of his head on the back wall by his beach side home. In that moment of indecision where Riggs gathers the strength to put down his gun and make it through one more night, it wouldn't seem out of character to suddenly say something negative about the jews, would it? (Gary Busey played the guy that killed Rigg's wife and has just played a jewish doctor in "Valley of the Wolves: Iraq." In this movie, he cuts out and sells the organs of prisoners of war. Doesn't this, by a twisted extension of logic, give him a reason to dislike the Chosen People?)

This sort of disconnect, the sort of weird feeling that maybe the actor isn't that far from the character, isn't anything new. Nick Nolte walks that fine line alot with his special brand of "aggrevated crazy." Remember when they picked him on that same stretch of Malibu highway - unshaven and hair akimbo - and he just looked like he flipped his lid? Well, he hadn't - he was just working on the Hulk movie. Or a little of both?

Anywho, Melvin Gibstien done screwed up good and oddly enough, here's a place where leaders in the Jewish community are shining - they're forgiving him. They have his platinum covered balls in his hand and instead of crying foul and using him as a whipping post, they're saying "If you're sorry, then we forgive you." And damage control or not, Mel's doing the right thing by asking for atonement and going through and calling Jewish Hollywood agents and telling them that he was sorry for acting like a dick.

See how this works Tom Cruise?

2006-07-20T23:25:00.000-07:00

Business as Usual...

Virginia's coming and I'm cleaning. It's oh so Pavlovian.

PS - The new Safe Sync works. It's time to get back on that ol' picture taking horse.

2006-07-19T18:47:00.000-07:00

Public Apology to Virginia.

Ok, ok - you were right about clutter, OH-KAY? There's no need to belabor the point any longer, you were right and I was wrong. Who knew that it would take me two weeks to pack my two bedroom apartment and another two plus weeks unpacking the stuff. Yes, you were right that I didn't need all that stuff and I think I'm a big enough man to admit it.

What?

Sigh.

ALRIGHT, you were also right about eating healthier and I'd feel better. I get that now. Sure, at first, when I went #2 I was only passing cellulose and it looked like I was pooping confetti but now I sleep better and I have more energy. Yep, yep. You - Right. Me - wrong.

You're not gonna make me do the monkey dance are you?

*FINE*

(Chimp noises and a great pantless flinging of arms ensue)

2006-07-19T18:29:00.000-07:00

B & W Selene

Ok, I'm trying something new out here, I'm gonna detail the process of each shoot I do with the aim of not boring the living crap out of you (myself, actually - no one really reads this thing). I'm using my Flickr portfolio to help drive traffic over here in hopes that I can become even more desperately attention hungry.

Ahem.

If you haven't met Selene yet, you're missing out. She's this loud, fun girl that can make you laugh - gorgeous red hair (although, I think I secretly wish all my female models are redheads - I only have one who truly is and she's too busy to shoot because she's becoming a more successful photographer than I am. Ah, the luck), light eyes, an infectous laugh and not shy in the slightest. She came to the Goddess shoot ready to do whatever because it sounded like a hoot to her. Did I mention that I really like working with her?

She'd been out of town for awhile and she came back. I said I wanted to shoot her, she said yes - complete no brainer.

Unfortunately, my Wein Soft Sync Hot Shoe to Hot Shoe adapter bit the dust. When I get stressed, as the death of a $60 three month old piece of equipment can stress you out, I obsess. I spent the first hour messing with the flash, trying to get it to work. Selene, Bhudda bless her, stood there nude, waiting for me to figure something out. Eventually, I was forced to bring out the hot lights (something like 400 degrees when lit).

This is something that is completely last resort. The lights are too hot to diffuse cheaply ($60 lightbox and a $80 speedring) so, I have to bounce the lights and shoot on a tripod at a slow shutter speed or risk annoying hotspots in the lights. After some trial and error, I decided that I'd rather have the picture be intentionally dark than try to push it to do something only my flashkit can do.

I'm proud.

2006-06-06T08:37:00.000-07:00

Ads That Disturb Me

I'm an ad nut. My day job is in advertising and I love the challenges that come with trying to tell a story or sell a product in 30 seconds. However, some ads disturb me, like to the point where I can't sleep anymore.

OnlyVegas.com

http://cache.ultramercial.com/d/001-303/vegas_flash_sl.html

This ad, as far as I can tell, is about the beginning of the end of a relationship. Girlfriend goes to vegas with her friends and .....something happened...... You can feel the boyfriends twisted gut as he finds a nice way to ask "WHAT DID YOU DO IN VEGAS, WHORE?" The look of shame on her face implies that she may or may not have taken on the entire aerial ballet team at Cirque De Solie, but isn't sure because of all the giant $1.00 margaritas she guzzled down on Fremont street. This 30 seconds reminds me of the scene in "Indecent Proposal" where Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore tap dance around the obvious questions the morning after the walking wrinkle Robert Redford banged Demi for a suitcase full of cash.

Super Soaker's The Ooozinator

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdAIt4MgnHc

Man, I kept waiting for the laughter of a Saturday Night Live audience on this one. Dis-tur-bing. Note that some of the kids enjoy this toy just a little too much.

2006-05-21T15:58:00.000-07:00

The promise to my 12 year old self (At Ginny's urging):

The thing that keeps me sane at work is the Penn Jillette show podcast. Penn's carny trash smart ass attitude really fits in well with the talk-show format and sounds like what Bill O'reilley would sound like if he suddenly decided to respect other peoples opinions and admitted he doesn't know shit about poop.

The day the David Copperfield mugging story hit the wires, Penn made a point that has stuck for me for about a month: David Copperfield kept the promise he made to his 12 year old self. When someone stuck a gun to his face and demanded his wallet, David Copperfield didn't panic and didn't give the robbers his stuff. He kept a promise to himself.

I have done magic before, nothing too good, the idea of practicing a pinky breaks over and over again bored me to tears. I was always more of a juggler, but the idea is the same. When 12 year old David practiced double lifts in his room over and over again, he must've fantasized about the day that someone would put him in a difficult situation and how he would use magic to get out of it.

And that's what happened that night in Florida. When presented with a gun in his face, He palmed his wallet, showed the robber that his pocket was empty and put it back into his pocket. Nothing spectacular, as a matter of fact, palming is one of the basest building blocks of all magic. It's what the period or the comma is to writers. But it was so simple, so effective that little Davey Copperfield could be nothing but proud of his older self.

So, this got me thinking about if I had honored my younger self. I've had so many dreams as a kid, it would have been hard to choose just one and I realized that my life has been dedicated to my 12 year old self. I've had many jobs that have just scratched the itch of deciding what I wanted to do. Of my dreams, I've been a:

Chef - I was a cook at Country Kitchen when I was 18 - Taco Bell burrito wrapper 2 years earlier.
Writer - Wrote for the Promised Land magazine for three years
Actor - Did plays in the community for about 10 years
Director - Did my first movie about 4 years ago
Doctor - was an optician - A huge stretch, but my mother who never takes my advice about anything uses my poorly informed advice on eye care matters. I usually give her a referral.
Photographer for Playboy - Well, we can see where this is going.....

Of course, my 12 year old perception of all of these jobs weren't even close to being accurate. Being a short order cook isn't the same thing as being a chef, but I found out that I sweat way too much behind a grill. Writing bummed me out because you never see the effort behind the craft. No one gets to see the Herculean strain that comes from honing a sentence to sound conversational and effortless. I usually watched in horror as their eyes slid over the page, seemgingly not reading a damn thing to hand it back to me with a non-committal "Mmmhmm, it's good."

I did the acting thing and I really enjoyed it, but I got jealous that other people's family came to watch the performance and I could never get mine to show up. Directing was a chore and the toughest part is convincing others that you knew how this jigsaw puzzle was going to edit together when you hadn't had a clue yourself. And becoming an Optician was a fancy way of not starving to death.

Photography however is panning out. I did keep the promise that I made to my 12 year old self, most likely made with a lump in my pants and surrounded by purloined Playboys. I said to myself that when I grew up, I would surround myself with beautiful women and take pictures of them, clothes or no. And I do.

Of course, the shame of it is that I can never go back and tell him what this sort of photography is really like. I meet wonderful, beautiful, sexy people and they become my friends. I care about them deeply and take great pains to protect their identites and make sure they're represented in a manner that honors them. I spend hours pouring over their photos, anguishing over whether or not I got what I set out to do and remove zits, stretch marks and scars. The best part is seeing the confidence grow out of someone who was unsure about themselves or discovered something new about themselves. That the poses and the looks that I used to stare at for hours is the collaboration of a light guy, a makeup artist, a photo retoucher, the model and photographer. Even then, the miraculous shots are quicksilver. It's a lot of work to look like no work at all. That and you get to know some models so well, that they become friends and family.

I wish I could tell little FML that. That and Stephen Wayada doesn't bang his models. It's a no-no.

2006-05-15T13:49:00.000-07:00

The Goddess Show

As promised, some pics...

2006-05-15T13:19:00.000-07:00

Der Farshlugginer Music Quiz.

I tend not to do these, but since Miss Ginny asked so nicely.....

1. Of all the bands/artists in your cd/record collection, which one do you own the most albums by?
Tie between Oingo Boingo and They Might be Giants

2. What was the last song you listened to?
"Go-Go Gadget Gospel" by Gnarls Barkley - My new summer song.

3. What’s in your record/cd player right now?
Demon Days - Gorillaz, Some Kind of Blue - Miles Davis, The Handler - Har Mar Superstar

4. What song would you say sums you up?
Can I be summed up in a three minute song? The only thing that sticks in my head is "End of the Tour" by They Might Be Giants. It's about the desire to return to normality after their tour is over. Problem is, the tour won't end until the end of the world. It's sung to someone the narrator loves who understands if they can't stick around til the end of the world to meet. After all the problems that led me to the Goddess Show, I could sympathise.

5. What’s your favorite local band?
I'd have to say it's Illfluent, only because I know no other bands.

6. What was the last show you attended?
Eek. Page/Plant about eight years ago.

7. What was the greatest show you’ve ever been to?
U2's Outside broadcast tour. God it was beautiful.

8. What’s the worst band you’ve ever seen in concert?
I saw Poison in concert in Kansas City in the eighties sometime. Went because a friend of mine was desperately in love with them and would masterbate to the cover of "Look what the cat dragged in" no matter how many times we'd tell him that they weren't chicks.

9. What band do you love musically but hate the members of?
The Smiths. Morrissey is a pain in the ass.

10. What show are you looking forward to?
I wanna see Beck, Har Mar Superstar, Rob Zombie

11. What is your favorite band shirt?
A black and red Stones shirt.

13. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
Rob Zombie. I like him as a musician, director and artist. He was an art director on "Pee Wee's Playhouse" and has decorated his house to look like the Haunted Mansion. I bet we could hang out, eat BBQ and watch us some southern gothic horror movie.

14. What musician would you like to be in love with for a day?
And have them love me back? I would think Liz Phair would be a hell of a lotta fun.

15. Metal question-Jeans and Leather vs. Cracker Jack clothes?
Fuck metal.

16. Sabbath or solo Ozzy?
Solo… yes, solo.

17. Commodores or solo Lionel Ritchie?
The first choice.

18. Punk rock, hip hop or heavy metal?
In that order.

19. Doesn’t Primus suck?
Only to the unimaginative.

20. Name four flawless albums:
U2 - Zooropa
TMBG - Mink Car
Van Morrison - Moondance
Violent Femmes - Violent Femmes
Michael Jackson - Thriller (The "Wow, this made me so much money, I can now touch children with impunity" album)

21. Did you know that filling out this survey makes you a music geek?
Or browbeaten by an on again/off again redheaded model

22. What was the greatest decade for music?
I'd have to say eighties, only because that's where my music interests begin.

23. How many music-related videos/dvds do you own?
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Grease
Cannibal the Musical
Michael Jackson the Videos
Oingo Boingo - Farewell
Giant!
True Stories
BNL
U2 Video Collection
U2 Popmart

24. Do you like Journey?
Oh my yes.

25. Don’t try to pretend you don’t!
See above.

26. What is your favorite movie soundtrack?
The Dumb and Dumber soundtrack

27. What was your last musical "phase" before you wisened up?
I go through them all the time. I'm so damn impressionable. I'm going through my Dangermouse phase right now. A month or two ago was my "Beck" phase.

28. What’s the crappiest CD/record/etc. you’ve ever bought?
I can't narrow it down, but I'm sure it's either "Chunky A" by Arsenio Hall, "The Crypt Keeper presents" or something with Freddy Krueger on it. Or whatever the last two albums past "Bad" by Michael Jackson was...

2006-05-10T17:51:00.000-07:00

253

Some water weight and hopefully a little more. Seven down, 63 to go.

It's easy, right?

Pic of the day

2006-05-07T08:59:00.000-07:00

nursey emo
Originally uploaded by Booty School Drop Out.

....pics of the show coming soon, I swear. Until then - enjoy Nursey Emo!

2006-04-26T14:56:00.000-07:00

Goddess Shoot - Done....

It's been 28 some hours since the shoot went down and I'm exhausted, to say the least.

I got into photography because my other passion, filmmaking, was tempered by the frustation of dealing with other people. No man is an island until he tries to get someone to commit to a shooting schedule. After the teeth-grinding frustration of getting crews and cast together, I decided, screw it - photography's for me. One photographer, one model - It's the life, I tell you!

Well, then I decided to do a big big big project involving the recruitment of 14 models, approximately 8 more than I was currently working with. I'm not that bright, I tell you!

The shoot was going to be this: One nude model in the center of the floor, curled into a fetal position. She was surrounded by other nude models who are creating a circle with their bodies. The image was burned into my head. I had to shoot it for the upcoming "Gifts of the Goddess" art show.

The recruitment started about a month ago - I posted an open casting call for the shoot on Myspace and I was soon innundated with people who wanted to be part of it. Finding all the models seemed like it was gonna be a piece of cake. That is, until I started setting up test shoots.

I've come to realize that the words "I'd love to work with you" are just a compliment in disguise and not an actual invitation to collaborate on something. Unless this person actually books an appointment to shoot and keeps it, "I'd love to work with you" is the female equivalent of "Sure, I'll call you sometime." Of the twelve inquiries that I got, I was able to procure three test shoots....GNAH!

Pretty soon, people were dropping out left and right. I had did the math with Anastasia (actually, she did it. I can't count to 21 without taking off my pants): One model, three feet wide when in a fetal position with a foot clearance on either side times PI, or something, came out to 14 5 and a half foot models. I was sitting at 6 total. Shit.

Two weeks to go, I had Tiff an Eve commited to the shoot and I felt better about my chances. Tiff is a beautiful mom of four who some how came out unscathed from the whole baby thing. She was also petite, well under the 5 foot, 5 inch thing we calculated on. I soon began to average the height of the models in my head as I met them. Eve was from Texas and somewhat miserable in this little truckstop town. Her skin was so white that I could white balance off of her belly. With long black hair, she reminded me of old pinup girls and could pull of a Betty in a pinch. She apparently reminded others of a Goth Molly Ringwald. Two down, six more to go.

More test shoots and more dead ends. Models come and go frequently. When some one asks me how many I have left for the shoot, I have to resort to counting out loud on my fingers. At this point, I'm stressed. I'm not eating right, sleeping right and when I poop, it's square. I'm miserable and frustrated. Not only do I have to worry about this incredibly technical shoot, the simple ones aren't coming together either. Malibu is busy keeping up with family responsibilities and I'm driving around with 100 lbs of sand for her "Summer Goddess" shoot. And if I didn't have enough to worry about, the grieving process for my father finally hits me and knocks me on my ass. It was a dark time indeed.

So. A week out from the deadline for the show and I decided to put on my big boy pants and actually set a date for the shoot - Tuesday the 25th - with no idea if that date would work or not. I was metaphorically shooting across the Alkaline flats in a rocket powered, monkey navigated rocket car - with no idea if I was going to hit the target or not.

The day of the shoot, I'm still trying to recruit models. In my head, I need 14 models but my best counts waver between 7 and 10. Models drop out. I blindly e-mail people that I've worked with in the past and people who had expressed interest in the hopes that they'd show up. I'm nervous as shit. Dave Wall, owner of snob productions has already hung curtains for the shoot and constructed two bits of scaffolding with a gang plank in the middle, so I can dangle my fat ass off it. I've got an unknown number of models showing up. It could be as little as six or as much at 14. I can't back out now.

At 6:30, the models begin trickling in. My assistant Renee followed by Eve, then Tiff and Bobbi. I nervously begin to count models over and over again. First six, then seven.....Is this going to be enough?

My cold, which has been lingering for about a week now, joins forces with the pocket of stress in my stomach. I'm still short models and I didn't want to scrap my idea or even change it and soon my body starts oozing fluids. First my nose is running, then my eyes begin to tear and I'm suddenly dripping a cold sweat. My body is begging me to lie down and I begin to feel dizzy. Renee flits back and forth, making sure everyone is comfortable, having a good time and making sure that everything is filled out correctly. I don't have to tell you how poorly this thing would've run without her.

Anastasia comes in and brings two new models with her, beautiful girl-next-door types. I do the count once more and ...eight...nine...ten? Holy crap! If this was a sitcom, it was the Holiday episode where the missing presents turn up and someone says "It truly is a Christmas Miracle."

I grab a couple of models to lie under the gang plank to see if what I'm doing is going to work. Bu', Devilynne and Mackie lie underneath and I lean way out to see if there was anyway to get them into the shot. No way in hell. I go to David and tell him that not only do I need to be higher, but whatever was going to support me had to be wider as well. Despite my (actually, Anastasia's) best math estimates, it was also painfully obvious that the width of the circle was going to be wider than 10 feet and the gangplank was six feet. Shit.

Luckily Dave has a history of gerry-rigging things. He grabs a C-clamp and attaches to an overhead beam and then hangs from it.

"It's fine! It'll hold you!"

Despite my misgivings (I'm am terribly afraid of heights) I help him dissassemble the scaffolding and hook the C-clamps to the ceiling. He then takes the sides of the scaffolding and hooks them to clamps with packing straps and then hooks the gang plank from the center. To keep the thing from coming apart and killing a couple of models, he wires the thing shut with chicken wire. After thirty minutes, we had a perfectly functional and scary looking killer death bench swing.

Now, the sweat turns ice cold. I hate hate hate heights and I knew there was a fair to middlin' chance that this death swing would buck me off onto the models below. Dave offered to stay and steady the swing and I left it up the models and I asked them if they mind if he stayed. Not one of them had a problem with it. Thank Bhudda. We set up the lights and they helped me ten feet in the air.

Luckily, while I'm worrying about my killing a naked person with this Red Green engineered floating platform, everyone is getting along like gangbusters. Everyone seems to know someone else, The Bu' and Eve apparently dated the same guy, A couple of others recognize each others from the local nightclub. Stories are traded, everyone's laughing and bonding and The 'Bu is hitting on everyone. It's the closest I'm ever gonna be to a party at the Playboy mansion and I'm Hef in this case (without the coolness, pajamas and sleeping with everybody.)

It's funny, I'm surrounded by breathtakingly beautiful women and they have no idea how beautiful they are. One mentions that she is gonna make a good pillow because she's so fat. "YOU'RE NOT FAT!" cries everyone in unison. Anna worries that her lips aren't dark enough and asks me if they're ok every ten minutes until the shoot is over. Some compare tattoos, some compare nails and some compare stretch marks.

I lie flat on the death swing because it feels the safest. No movement, no swinging and unfortunately not high enough. I wiggle to my knees. Still not high enough. Whitney calls out, "You're gonna get brave enough to stand" Whitney's full of shit. This death swing shakes more than Katherine Hepburn trying to catch a fly.

The next hour or so is a blur. The first pose that I had set up didn't work and it took an hour to realize this. After lying on the concrete for an hour, all the models bodies went to sleep from the neck down. I was close to getting what I wanted, but I wasn't quite there.

After a thirty minute break, Mackie and her step mom (Can't remember her name, perhaps because she had her clothes on) came up with the Mandala idea. Excited, I got back up on the rigging. Because the mandala was more round than the other pose, I was cutting people off. I stood to lean over the precipice to get a better view.

"Hey! You're standing," cried Whitney below. With the camera to my face, I didn't notice the height.

We shot for another 40 minutes and got two more excellent shots. I know I'm getting better when I get what I want and I walk away with less shots.

The end of the night came and everyone exchanged numbers and myspace account names. I got five new models out of the deal as well. It was an amazing night and remarkably, it turned out much better than I thought.

With the A-Team theme playing in my head, I strolled out into the night. I love it when a plan comes together.

2006-04-19T14:48:00.000-07:00

The End of the Tour
by They Might Be Giants

There's a girl with a crown and a scepter
Who's on WLSD
And she says that the scene isn't what it's been
And she's thinking of going home
That it's old and it's totally over now
And it's old and it's over, it's over now
And it's over, it's over, it's over now
I can see myself

At the end of the tour
When the road disappears
If there's any more people around
When the tour runs aground
And if you're still around
Then we'll meet at the end of the tour
The engagements are booked through the end of the world
So we'll meet at the end of the tour

Never to part since the day we met
Out on Interstate 91
I was bent metal you were a flaming wreck
When we kissed at the overpass
I was sailing along with the people
Driving themselves to distraction inside me
Then came a knock on the door which was odd
And the picture abruptly changed

At the end of the tour
When the road disappears
If there's any more people around
When the tour runs aground
And if you're still around
Then we'll meet at the end of the tour
The engagements are booked through the end of the world
So we'll meet at the end of the tour

This was the vehicle these were the people
You opened the door and expelled all the people
This was the vehicle these were the people
You opened the door and expelled all the people
This was the vehicle these were the people
You let them go

At the end of the tour
When the road disappears
If there's any more people around
When the tour runs aground
And if you're still around
Then we'll meet at the end of the tour
The engagements are booked through the end of the world
So we'll meet at the end of the tour
And we're never gonna tour again
No, we're never gonna tour again

2006-04-18T17:25:00.000-07:00

Ennui

I think it might be time to hang up the ol' camera.

Right now, I'm sitting at a computer, not with friends or anything, but alone and staring at the fantastic backlog that's threatening to topple over on me. I'm so incredibly frustrated at the goddess shoot right now that I don't care if I ever take another picture again.

None of my friends are home or will return calls right now. Maybe I did do something to piss them off - I dunno.

This is supposed to be fun. It's not right now.

Pic of the day ... to lighten things up a little....

2006-04-18T00:33:00.000-07:00

CORAL 7EVEN
Originally uploaded by GVK.

I know how moments like this happen.

This photo was maybe posed like this, with her head tipped down, full of resolve and her arms tucked behind her back, like she's got a surprise and you're not gonna like it. There may be a secret meaning beind the photo. The photographer may have given her an instruction like "I want you to look seductive and dangerous, all at the same time."

I would bet that this is one of those quicksilver pics though - ones where you pose and move her until suddenly, poof!, magic. I bet GVK didn't even know this pic existed until later.

Does it really matter though? This pic is beautiful, great contrast and tone with a woman I could fall in love with but never completely trust.

Fantastic!

2006-04-18T00:08:00.000-07:00

THIS DAMN THING AGAIN.....

Ginny posted a question to her blog, asking where she could find good websites that explain Evolution in a scientific manner. The first response to her post sent her to a ID website.

Now, I'm sick and feel like poop, but there is only a few things that get my blood moving, and that's intelligent design. I spent an hour writing her about intelligent design and it's fallicies. Because I spent so much damn time on it instead of sleeping, I'm gonna repost my response here:

Ignore Mr. Twisted.
The intelligent design movement is definately not a scientific movement. It's religion cynically masquerading as science. The ID movement is counting on the fact that most people don't have a good grounding in science and wouldn't catch them in their lies.
Common arguements in Intelligent Design and rebuttal to them:
1) "The universe and it's flora and fauna is too complex to have happened by accident."
Who says?
Sitting on the toilet at my work, I can see in the hexagon floor tiles a pattern that remarkably looks like the pink panther. Now, because I can clearly see this pattern, doesn't mean that the guy who built the place intended to create rows and rows of Pink Panther heads. I saw something that my brain interpreted as having meaning for me. That's all.
The theory of evolution also does not state that things happen randomly - mutations that benefit the species are passed on to future generations while mutations that do not help the species move forward do not get passed on. Survival of the fittest.
Besides, the theory of evolution does not attempt to explain the origins of life, it explains the origins of species. The question of how life began on the planet, scientifically, is a different matter completely from evolution.
2)"Evolution is an incomplete science - why should we teach something that isn't complete?"
Science is never ever complete. We will constantly find out new things about the world we live in.
The difference between scientists and ID'ers is that scientists want to be proven wrong. If you wanna see pure unadultered joy on the face of someone in a lab coat - prove them wrong about something.
3) "Evolution is just a theory, why should we teach a theory?"
They're using the word wrong on purpose. Theory does not mean a guess in scientific terms - "Hypothesis" is the scientific word for an educated guess. The fact that gravity sucks things to the ground is a theory. The fact the earth rotates around the sun is a theory. Ice forms at 32 degrees celcius is also a theory. In scientific terms a theory is the description of a process, event or phenomenon.
Evolution has been proven in the scientific community as much as the earth going around the sun.
4) "Why not teach the controversy?"
Because there are people who will argue any point. Why should we change textbooks to reflect "other opinions?" Since when is the persuit of truth open to opinion? I don't need to believe that 2 + 2 = 4 because I can have proof of the outcome. And because I can have proof of the outcome, I don't need to be able to form an opinion about the outcome.
There are people who believe we've never been to the moon. There are people who believe the holocaust never happened. There are those who believe that the earth is flat. There are those that believe that life originated from monsters from out of space. Why should we teach every nonprovable dissenting view?
5) "If you came across a watch on the beach, would you assume that the watch formed from millions of years of chance or would you assume that someone made it?"
Wait. Are you saying that GOD made the watch?
This is a bad, bad arguement that is being made way too frequently. Of course, I would assume that a watchmaker made the watch. I mean, I've seen watches before, I've seen people make watches and I've seen people wear watches. There is nothing supernatural about a watch (except a haunted watch - oooh spooky!)
And, I've also seen people making other people (It's called pornography.) It happens at quite a clip around the world, so much so that it cannot be considered a marvel anymore (the process is cool, but common). So, there's no surprise in that either.
The watchmaker arguement is a great example of a bad analogy. The arguement goes like this "With all of the watches complexity, doesn't it stand to reason that it is too complex to have had happened by chance?" This line of thinking begs the question "Yes, but isn't the watchmaker certainly more complex than the watch he made? How could this have happened by chance? Certainly the watchmaker had a maker. And wouldn't the watchmaker's maker be even more complex than the watch or the watchmaker? Who made the watchmaker's maker?" and so on and so forth.
If the answer is God is the force behind intelligent design, who made God?
6) "There are no transistional fossils. How can there be evolution if there are no transitional fossils?"
That's either a bold faced lie or supreme and willful ignorance.
Millions of transitional fossils have been found - millions. Every discovery only strengthens the Evolutionary theorem. Just recently the transitional fossil of a fish has been discovered, some eight or nine feet long, that has feet and both gills and lungs. It was an amazing discovery. Has this swayed the ID'ers position? Of course not.
The problem with the transitional fossil arguement is that you could never satisfy the ID crowd. Take for instance the recent discovery of the fish with legs. To scientists, this transitional fossil has shown the progress from fish to land animal. To ID'ers, this discovery has just created the need for more transitional fossils.
For instance, the fish (named Takalla or something like that. Too lazy to google), in filling in the void between fish and land animal has created two more "missing links" (one on either side). Now if you find transitional fossils for those "missing links", now you've created four more. Find those "missing links" and you create sixteen "missing links". Fill those and you've created 256 "missing links." And so on and so on.
They're counting on never being able to find fossils with minute changes from one to the next. The ID'ers want to turn the fossil record into this giant flip book, where if you look closely, you can see fish morph into man. And then they still wouldn't believe it.
7) "The Intelligent Design arguement isn't a religious one, it's an alternative theory to evolution"
Uh-huh.
In order to test their theory of ID, they would need to define their terms. What is this Intelligent Designer? Where can we find it and observe it in action? They would also have to write papers and submit them to the academic communities for peer review. ID has done none of these.
Why are there no athiest groups pushing for ID? Because it is creationism wrapped in gobbedlygook pseudoscientific jargon.
8) "Because we, as a people, only have come to understand a tiny portion of this universe, couldn't it be possible that the creator is beyond your knowledge."
Let's see if I get this arguement right: Because I haven't seen everything, I can't know everything and that means that the creator is possible. To follow that logic, because I haven't seen flying pigs doesn't mean that they don't exist. And I'm sure because I don't know everything about the universe, there must be a planet full of lesbians and chocolate milkshake oceans. Wow, anything is possible then!
Or not. The laws of the universe, as we currently understand them, have been a great tool in predicting how things work. Even though I haven't picked up everything in the world singularly and dropped it, I can be assured that gravity will drag the item to the ground at various. but predictable, speeds. I haven't been to the farthest reaches of the galaxy, but I'm fairly sure there aren't racoons that whistle and hover out there. If you tell me that you DO have a racoon that whistles and floats, it's your responsiblity to prove that statement true if you want anyone to believe you.
Here are some websites that explain what evolution is and it is not:http://evolution.berkeley.edu/
http://www.pandasthumb.org/
http://wiki.cotch.net/index.php/Main_Page
Enjoy!
Phew. That was a lot longer than I had intended. The hour is late and I'm never gonna get enough sleep to speed up my recovery. Shit.
My sons, who I love more than anything in this world - more than Batman, pinup girls and Zombies - are being raised to be critical thinkers. I want them to grow up with the idea that skepticism is healthy and necessary and to question things that don't seem to correct to them. I want them to grow up and not be afraid to be proven wrong about something and say "I don't know" instead of "God did it."
I can't change many minds but I can make sure my children know that there are questions out there that don't have an answer and might never have one and that it's ok. I want them to know that morality is something our parents pass down and not diviniation from an omnipotent supernatural being. That they can be good people and not have to agree with the majority and the fact that they don't believe doesn't mean that they're cruel, unhappy people.
It just means when they look up at the stars and marvel at the beauty that is our world and universe, that not believing in God does not make them a bad person. They've just come to a different conclusion.

2006-04-17T23:56:00.000-07:00

SICK AGAIN....

This has been a hell of a day. This weird nagging sinus thing has been dragging on since post Easter activities and it's made me listless and braindead. My fever spiked at 100 earlier and I got the chills so bad that I had to take a steaming hot shower. No energy to work on the stuff that I need to work on for the Goddess show and I accidentally dumped Batman cereal into my keyboard an hour before taxes were due. Booo.

On the plus side, My friend, model and assistant Naturally (her pseudonym, not mine) came and hung out for a little bit, which is always nice. She's strong, smart and funny - exactly how I like my women. She came over, worked on some pics and we talked shop.

A little later, my friend and model Ms!Fire (what is with the model's pseudonyms lately?) came over to show off her new ta-tas. I got to touch them - they're weird right now - firm like Stretch Armstrongs abdomen. I can't say that there isn't a spark to her now. Her boobies are storebought, but they're back to what she's used to and they look pretty damn good for being less than a week old. And she's happy, happy, happy. No longer will I hear her refer to them as "my Crypt Keeper titties."

The days are all running together now. The show is soon and I'm stressed. I'm not eating right, I'm not sleeping right and I'm sure that my hair will come out in clumps. In a few weeks, I'll be hanging out with Ginny and having fun and laughing. I can't wait.

Pic of the day....

2006-04-15T23:04:00.000-07:00

Cyber Fine
Originally uploaded by Paradox Blue.

This picture blows my mind. It's straight out of the comics. I've been staring at this thing for a few minutes now and ....wow....

Pic of the Day...

2006-04-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

Originally uploaded by Valeria Luna.

I'm jealous, jealous, jealous of this pic. I wish I had thought of that. Excellent use of color, light and duotone. Marvelous.

2006-04-13T00:23:00.000-07:00

259

Water weight.

I'm impatient. I need to remind myself that it took me years and years to get this staggeringly out of shape and it'll take a while to get back to where I once belong.

The trick is to break the cycle of realizing that I'm heavy, suddenly changing my diet and exercise routine, lose weight, get weary of the effort and gain the weight back. Rinse, lather and repeat.

I'm hoping this big ass project of mine - entitled "The Goddess shoot" - will be enough of a distraction to allow me to drop the poundage. Maybe the stress will cause the pounds to fall right off and not just handfuls of hair.

Had a great shoot tonight with Laurelee. Fantastic model, love shooting with her. I think she can be big someday. Just shot her portion of the Seasonal goddess portion: The Fall Goddess. She looks amazing there. Reminds me of a young Marianne Gravette.

This shoot might just come together yet. I'm feeling that I'm close. Real close to pulling this off.

Karmakord is Back...

2006-04-12T22:47:00.000-07:00

pink ii
Originally uploaded by karmakord.

One of my favorite models on Flickr is back from a brief hiatus. I couldn't be any happier...

Pic of the day....

2006-04-10T06:07:00.000-07:00

Grin
Originally uploaded by HurtMeSo!.

God, I'm a sucker for girls with candy colored hair.

I did a shower set with The Bu' once where we had ran different streams of water color down her. I got the bright idea to rub her hair with the red water color. It was fabulous - her hair turned this bright fire engine red. It was gorgeous.

Didn't realize that if you used the paste that it would stick around for a few days. Oh well.

Marianne

2006-04-08T10:42:00.000-07:00

Marianne
Originally uploaded by Mario EA - fotosmontt.com.

Mario has the most beautiful models around (after me, natch). I miss thick eyebrows and I think I'm gonna have to go to Brazil to get them. If you haven't seen Mario's work, you need to: http://www.flickr.com/photos/fotosmontt/

2006-04-08T10:29:00.000-07:00

260

Weird coincidence: 260 was my home room number in Jr. High and now it's what I weigh.

What a long strange trip this has been. I don't feel like I'm fat, or remarkably fat, but right now I'm approximately 80lbs over what I weighed in highschool some 17 years ago. I used to be the skinniest guy in class, the guy who would wear suspenders not just because they were fashionable (thank you Eighties!) but because my ass wasn't enough to hold them in place. My pants still slip but only because my waist is the shape of the underside of a pear. I can't walk anywhere without huffin' and puffin'. Sex would be a heart attack inducing endeavor but because of my weight, no one actually finds me attractive enough to sleep with. There's such balance in nature.

So, my plan is roughly this: eat less, exercise more. Despite all the technological advances, it still boils down to not eating until I'm stuffed and getting my fat ass off the computer and walk around a little.

I'm thinking about this lately because my father, who had many open heart surgeries, died from a heart attack some three weeks ago. He didn't take care of himself and I really don't either. I don't wanna go out like a sucka.

So, instead of plopping my ass in front of a computer, I'm gonna plop it on a stationary bike and pedal until my knees scream. Wish me luck. More updates on my health thing to come.

Sophie's moving

2006-04-04T07:02:00.000-07:00

B & W Sophia IV
Originally uploaded by Fantastic Media Labs.

Geez, what is it with the nomadic nature of my models?

She's taking off in about a week and a half and I'm gonna have to shoot the shit out of her before she packs up for Tucson. Any suggestions?

Pic of the day..

2006-04-02T20:40:00.000-07:00

Uma & Me!
Originally uploaded by Valeria Luna.

Lovely, lovely, lovely.

2006-03-31T17:29:00.000-08:00

My newest toy...

As an early adopter, I'm slightly embarrassed to admit that I just got my first IPod (Thanks Ginny!). Since their inception, umpteen million different versions have popped up and have been discontinued, thanks to the Apple Marketing strategy of "Keep making them so the price point never drops." But now, thanks to Karma, I have one of my very own to play with. And play with it I have.

Quite honestly, I haven't fidgeted with anything so much since I hit puberty. It's an amazing, amazing gizmo which has become my most favorite thing in the world since I've hit puberty. While I await for my work to end, I'm looking around for podcasts that will fill that little green apple casing with audio goodness. Today, I've listened to three straight hours of the "Real Time with Bill Maher show", the Snuff Box theme over and over again (which is easy because it's only 40 seconds long) and a little bit o' iron maiden. When it comes time to make a trip to california, I'm gonna fill it with audiobooks, sketch shows and damn near anything else I can think of. I'm obsessed, dammit!

The weird thing is how behind the curve I am on this. I'm not a luddite and yet my luddite friends have been using an IPod for years and I finally get one? Wuzza? Let's take British Comedy for instance - I have introduced UK-Ha-Ha to my friends and I've hooked them good. Some of my friends speech is warped into this meaningless goo of "Spaced" references, "The Mighty Boosh" songs, "Garth Marenghi's Dark Place" handshakes and David Walliams "EH-EH-EH-EHHHHHH!" from Little Britain. There's a weird cultural shift in the middle of colorado based upon shows that people would never have seen without me. And now I'm discovering podcasting?

I feel Amish.

2006-03-30T20:30:00.000-08:00

Deep Stuff, to me at least....

The problem with sense memory, as I see it, is that competing senses can cause weird clusters of emotion. The way I pulled out from work today coupled with the song that started playing on the Ipod triggered this weird brokenhearted melancholy. These two seperate sensations have got me in a weird funk that has got me thinking about love and my place in things.

I'm not in a relationship right now, not really, but I'm not looking either. I haven't broken up with anyone and I'm not dissapointed because of romantic persuit. Somehow, the lazy half turn of a steering wheel, the glint of light reflected off of a window coupled with Barenaked Ladies "Call and Answer" has put me in the sort of naval gazing state that usually comes after I've chased the wrong person. And that's happened a lot.

Ever hear the "Call and Answer" song? It's beautiful. It's a song that, if you're not a lyrics person, sounds like an oath of loyalty and protection for a loved one. But then you get into the lyrics and ....oh, it kills me:

I think it’s getting to the point
Where I can be myself again
I think it’s getting to the point
Where we have almost made amends
I think it’s the getting to the point
That is the hardest part.

And if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I’ll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
I’ll point you home

You think I only think about you
When we’re both in the same room
You think I’m only here to witness
The remains of love exhumed
You think we’re here to play
A game of who loves more than whom

And if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I’ll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
I’ll point you home

You think it’s only fair to do what’s
Best for you and you alone
You think it’s only fair to do the same
To me when you’re not home
I think it’s time to make this something that is
More than only fair

So if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I’ll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
I’ll point you home.

Lemme interrupt here: It is that sort of song, but it's not about another person - the love song is really about protection of the self, where the narrator of the piece is singing that they'll be there for their love, but if they mess up, they're out of there. The way Stephen Page sings "And if you court this disaster/I'll point you home" is so sweet, it's hard to believe that he's telling the person he loves that he will have no problem ending it if things go back to the way they were.

The kicker to this song is the last verse, however. It's devestating.

But I’m warning you, don’t ever do
Those crazy, messed up things that you do
If you ever do
I promise you I’ll be the first to crucity you
Now it’s time to prove that you’ve come back
Here to rebuild.

It's one of those songs that you sing with tears in your eyes, knowing that you can't quit this other person but you'll cross hell and highwater to keep a promise to protect yourself. It's about giving your heart to someone, but letting them know that it's a loaner and you expect it back as good of condition as you gave it.

So why am I writing this? I don't know, really. This wave of misplaced emotion rolled over the top of me while I drove and I frantically rubbed the jog dial on my new IPod (Thanks Ginny!) trying to move the song. I fumbled badly with the buttons and all I could do was replay that end part, over and over again:

But I’m warning you, don’t ever do
Those crazy, messed up things that you do
If you ever do
I promise you I’ll be the first to crucity you
Now it’s time to prove that you’ve come back
Here to rebuild.

Honestly, I think that's the saddest bit of music in the world of pop music (Yes, even sadder than the "In a little while from now/If I'm not feeling any less sour/I promised myself that I'd treat myself and climb the nearest tower/and throw myself off/in an effort to reveal to who everyone knows what it's like to be shattered" from the "Alone again, naturally" song.)

I was in a goodish mood when I left work and suddenly I'm thinking about failed romances and how I avoid them now. How I'm surrounded by beautiful, funny, intelligent women and how I have no need anymore to want to be with anyone. How in the minefield laden world of romance and relationships, I've rolled over like Switzerland and not wanting to have to deal with it anymore. What the hell has happened to me?

Stupid Barenaked Ladies.

2006-03-25T19:03:00.000-08:00

Exhausted...

Virginia will be here in some eighteen hours and the house is still, more or less a mess. Not by my standards, but by hers. Honestly, she doesn't mind it much and apparently loves an opportunity to clean. Part of me (my back, my upper thighs,) is asking why would we deprive her of something she enjoys? Still, as a sign of love and respect, I'm pressing on.

I know how it sounds - it's just a messy house, why make it sound like an excerpt from a Krakhauer novel? Because, I'm an organizational retard. And will always be. And as long as I have Virginia in my life, I imagine I will continue to make desperate attempts to clean.

Picture of the day....

2006-03-23T20:54:00.000-08:00

Picture080_05Jul04
Originally uploaded by warrenellis.

Ok, so technically this isn't a great photo. Hell, it's not even a good photo, but it's the subject matter what matters. The bloke in the photo is comic writer Warren Ellis - who now is on my friend list on Flickr.

For those who aren't in the know, Warren Ellis is responsible for some of the best writing in comics - "Hellblazer" and "Transmetropolitan" are two notable examples. This is a guy who's work has entertained me for years and it's weird to add him to a flickr list. One of the greastest comic writers ever is on my friends list.

And yet he takes self portraits like a 14 year old girl on MySpace.

Huh.

2006-03-23T07:28:00.000-08:00

Toys and K-Diddy

It came shortly after I posted the last blog entry: My safe-sync hotshoe and 15 foot sync cable from B & H. Sure it cost an ungodly $80 (I'm poor, yo) but it's worth it. I lured Silver to my apartment with the promise of a backrub and dinner and gave the new toys a workout.

Lemme let you in on something: I'm a crappy photographer. I really have no idea of what I'm doing - I'm just able to occassionally put out interesting photos. Thank god for digital photography, because since I don't know my f-stop from a hole in the ground, I would never have been able to do what I've been doing with film. I figure I probably could get a little more dangerous knowing more about the camera in general, but with instantaneous results, it's hard to argue that point anymore.

Anywho, I had no idea what to expect. When I started, I shot with a $150 point and shoot, no control over exposure, so the images would vary in grain and sharpness, but I could move around and get odd and interesting angles. Then, I got my Digital Rebel XT. Now, I had ultimate control over exposure, but in my search for clarity and low grain, I shot at low shutter speeds and larger f-stops (or is it referred to as smaller? I know the aperature is the inverse to the number, but how is it referred to? I told you I know nothing about photography) and made the model hold reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally still. So, I got good quality (occassionally) but the poses would sometimes seem stiff and because I was tethered to a tripod, all the interesting angles were gone. All my shots featured standing models and for the most part, were shot from the waist up. Frustrating.

So, after hooking up everything, I took my first shot at ISO 100 and a f-stop of 15. Blown out. Do I have more than enough light? Crazy. It took some finagling but finally, I had a keeper (see above). This is going to change everything. This is the raw pic, no touch up yet, nothing (Silver's gonna kill me). It's taken me awhile to figure out how to be good with my hot lights, and I expect another learning curve on this one.

Ok, non photo related: Kevin Federline. WTF?

Seriously - what in the fuck? Seriously, I'm last person that should even comment on this man. I don't listen to rap or hip hop much. The only hip-hop artists I listen to are The Beastie Boys, Del the Funky Homosapien, Public Enemy and Digital Underground. And yet, I have better flow than K-Fed. Check it out: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=43344273

Again, let me stress how painfully unhip I am and yet I still know that his beats are crap. I have Bjork playing on my MP3 player right now and yet I am somehow more street than him. Do you understand? My lunch of a mayonaisse sandwich and fritos still do not make K-Fed more of a Hip Hop artist than I am. Holy crap, does he name check Bryan Gumble? Did he just say "Popozao" was a lame trick to make people hate him? Is this a Nathan Barley sketch? Check him out self lovin' to his own lame tracks: http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/01/24/kevin_federline_jams_to_popoza.html. Remember: Britney Spears opened her womb to this guy - as strong as of indictment against the "survival of the fittest" as I've ever heard one.

Ok, I hate to use this in the same paragraph - but a plug for a couple of friends of mine, Cloudwalker the Qumulous and Nebroc the Omnischent. Twin brothers who rap - together they're Snot Nose Futureistic Kids. Check them out - http://www.myspace.com/bionickids - tell me that "The Take Away" isn't the smoothest jam around.

2006-03-22T10:02:00.000-08:00

Did I mention....

..that I hate UPS? The poop brown uniforms, the noisy lumbering trucks, the packages that don't get delivered until they HAVE to. Get that? HAVE to. I'm awaiting a safe-sync hotshoe attachment and a sync cable and I work less than a mile than the UPS sorting facility. It's been on the truck since 5 am and could have been delivered at any time. But no, because I didn't pay for am delivery (7-12 bucks more), they're gonna drive all around with the box in the back until after 3pm today. They'll spend more on gas.

Ok - breathe. It'll get here soon enough. But tonight, I will have a fully functioning professional lighting kid and tomorrow, I'll have a 5 in 1 reflector. I've been looking to scale down my shooting until my processing catches up, but now that I've gotten new toys.......

2006-03-21T06:40:00.000-08:00

Virginia Was Right....

It's been a while since I've blogged anything. In this case, it's good news. I've become too busy to attend to my blogging duties, I've met with new models, gotten new equpment and struck up a partnership that will hopefully get me more exposure and hopefully, start earning me money because of it. These are exciting times, but they're also "blog neglectful" times. So, to anyone that might read this (Is there anyone?) I'm sorry. I'm a tardy monkey.

Right now, I'm sitting the middle of the interim stage of my house cleaning duties. It's not what you call clean, but you can see the machinations of cleaning in the debris. Virginia's coming to stay with me again for a few days. The cleaning is a show of respect and a tactical strike: She's a neat freak and when I'm at work, I expect to see my house cleanly pressed and folded. I'd like for her to enjoy herself, not cleaning my crap all day.

She'll be here with her mom and sister and hopefully, we'll get a chance to shoot. Shooting with her is like meditation - it brings me back to center. At the very least, we'll play more drunken scrabble (where the plays seem to drift back to "tits" "ass" and "sex"), watch some british sitcoms and laugh our ass off.

I'm working on new pics, keeping relationships up with new models and it feels like something big is on the horizon. Believe!

2005-12-13T21:35:00.000-08:00

EXHAUSTED

No big shoots planned for this week. Which.....is good.

I say that hesitantly, because in the back of my mind there is the fear that if I stop shooting, then the models go away. Or, I lose my desire to do it. Or, I forget how, even if I stop for a day. Irrational I know, but being prolific has worked for me so far. Until now.

I've got sets - amaaaazing sets that aren't finished because I keep shooting. I keep shooting and let these pictures languish in the queue. Well, this week is the time for catching up, in both housework and photowork. I can't be distracted today (except for a little bit, this blog entry for an example).

I do have something amazing coming up, but to talk about it would be jinxing myself. I'm a skeptic, but as Penn Jillette said "Everybody's got a Gris-Gris" And this set would be too amaaaaazing to be pissed away by a slip of the tongue.

Oh and Virginia's coming down in two and a half weeks. Which gives me barely enough time to clean this place. Ginny's a sweet girl and an organizational freak. Better I do it than her. Oh, and the possiblity exists that we'll see new sets from Marilyn soon. It feels like home already.

-- RANDOM STUFF --

Americans are getting the dookie end of the stick -there are some fantastic british television shows out there and we yanks are mostly ignorant of what good is out there. The British Comedy scene seems fairly small as there is so much cross over. Here's some of my favorites -

1) Spaced - Third Series in the works? I hope so. I miss Tim, Daisy, Mike, Brian, Twist and Marsha like family. The gist - Two strangers meet in a coffee house, both freshly kicked out of their homes and are forced to move in together. The only problem is they get a flat for "Professional couples only" and they must pretend they're a couple. Chockful of cultural references and smart, fast humor - I'm doing it a disservice by this discussion - perhaps the greatest sitcom ever.

2) Little Britian - Sketch Comedy from David Walliams (Who played "Vulva" on Spaced) and Matt Lucas. Smart, fast moving comedy with reoccuring characters and themes. My favorite sketches:
1) Lou and Andy - Andy is a bit touched in the head and confined to a wheelchair, or so his helper Lou thinks. When Lou's back is turned, Andy is up and out of his wheelchair and Sky Diving, riding a horse or beating up a group of yobs.
2) Anne - Anne is a mental patient who can only say "ehh-ehh-ehhhhhh." She's a human dynamo with no sense of boundries or proprietry. She does have a lovely voice on the phone.
3) Fat Fighters - No one, and I repeat, no one can do drag like Matt Lucas. He's got alpacea, so he's completely hairless and a blank canvas for wigs and makeup. In the fat fighters sketch, he plays a woman who berates the people who come to her for help and suggests dust as a low calorie snack.

There's so much more....later, (when there's not so much laundry) I'll gush about "The Mighty Boosh" "The League of Gentlemen" and "Nighty Night"

Alright now...

2005-11-28T00:16:00.000-08:00

i'll play along.
Originally uploaded by karmakord.

...if you don't love Karmakord by now, you're not paying attention. START PAYING ATTENTION.

Seriously though, she kills me. If I could only get a chance to shoot with her, I'd jump at it.

Malibu

2005-11-27T15:29:00.000-08:00

Cowgirl Malibu III
Originally uploaded by Fantastic Media Labs.

If you haven't met her yet, then you haven't been on my Flickr site either (www.flickr.com/photos/fmlphotography). She's a wonderful new model, I've only been shooting with her for a little over a month, but oh what a productive month it's been. She fun, graceful, gorgeous and so full of ideas.

Flick makes it hard on me to Blog her pics, so if you'd like to see more of her, be sure and sign up for flickr and hit me up to add you as a friend.

Oh, and if you like a pic, please comment on it.

Pic of the day....

2005-11-23T18:57:00.000-08:00

ananda
Originally uploaded by bb_doll.

I can't take my eyes of it. I feel bad because she's so lovely and yet, she's devestated. It's an intrusion for sure. This photo is seriously playing with my emotions.

Pic of the Day #2...

2005-11-20T22:45:00.000-08:00

locarno
Originally uploaded by karllouis.

Yet another reason why I keep taking pictures....one day, I want to catch up the beauty that exists in that photograph. Stunning. Absolutely stunning.

Pic of the Day #1...

2005-11-20T22:37:00.000-08:00

Jane Dough
Originally uploaded by SarynAngel.

Oooh, cinematic. That and I love big eyed women.

2005-11-20T21:57:00.000-08:00

SPOTTED AGAIN

FML on other peoples blogs....

http://misterpin-up.squarespace.com/links/
http://chicksnbreasts.blogspot.com/2005_10_11_chicksnbreasts_archive.html
http://chicksnbreasts.blogspot.com/2005_08_07_chicksnbreasts_archive.html
http://gatasdoflickr.blogspot.com/ (Halfway down....scroll alot.)
http://richmondsucks.blogspot.com/2005/11/good-afternoon-malibu.html
http://richmondsucks.blogspot.com/2005_11_01_richmondsucks_archive.html

2005-11-20T20:53:00.000-08:00

BACK TO SPEED

Back on the horse as it were. Didn't have a chance to update because life has a way of trying to jam itself through the door at once. My plate is clean, my house is getting that way and I've been on quite a photobender. Check out the stream if you hadn't yet: www.flickr.com/photos/fmlphotography. No under 18 and you have to have a Flickr account to see. Had three incredible sets in about a week:

Candlelit Malibu: Shot this in 'Bu's new place. She had this huge ol' bathroom and plenty of distance to shoot from. I raided the Dollar Store for aromatherapy candles (which, oddly, had no scent) and arranged them around her. I hoped that the candles would give off enough light and for the most part they did (especially after I raised the ISO to 400). Added enough bubblebath to give a lesser woman a bladder infection. For the record: 'Bu likes her bathtub scalding hot.

Blue Water Malibu: Worried that I was gonna kill us both: 500w halogens + water on the floor - bathmat = the smell of cooking bacon (usually). I had plugged the lights into that breakered bathroom fixture that is around most modern bathroom sinks, hoping that would be enough to keep us alive. Bounced the light off of the white molded plastic shower stall about three feet where I was standing. Which made me very warm and drippy with sweat. So much so that I had difficulty setting the exposure because the Digital Rebel XT's jog wheel got really slippery. Also dripped sweat on her. A lot. She was a trouper. Also added enough "Batman Bath fizzies" to the water to give it that water color that only exists in crayons.

Cowgirl Malibu: Tied with the Chinese Lantern pics as my favorite Malibu pics of all time. It was cold, low 50's or high 40's out. I had a baby blue blanket with ducks on it and my black suitcoat to keep her warm. Shot outside on my mom's ranch with traffic going past. We were far enough from the road to avoid looky loos (I hope). She was brave and looked fantastic. Really really strong work together here. Too bad we lost the light because there are some wonderful hidden grottoes on the property, including old, rusted cars....next time, next time.

Because of the Cowgirl set, you'll find a sweet mention of my work on www.livejournal.com/users/devifemme. Devifemme's blog is nice, a collection of beautiful women who have taken pictures of themselves, taking back erotica from the crass, angry stuff that is so prominent these days.

"...Michael's a wonderful photographer of femininity! He's almost a femme for his non-"Playboy" approach to the look of a girl quietly exploring herself. (I know how that sounds, but I'm really NOT into porno...) I generally enjoy Flickr for the women photogs who seize the opportunity of a digital mirror in which to see themselves as extraordinary sensual beings. And I get permission from some of them to post shots on my little blog (livejournal.com/users/devifemme) and chat a bit about them.But, back to Michael, he uniquely captures that same thing in many of his shots -- without intruding masculinity into the exercise! His Cowgirl Malibu shots, for example, make me hope the cute blonde KNOWS other girls are enjoying her moments among the hay bales. Hey, Mikie, you go, girl!"

I love hearing stuff like this. I do like that guys appreciate what I'm doing, but it's an honor when women tell me that they like it. Makes me feel like I'm on the right track.

Pic of the day...

2005-11-01T09:10:00.000-08:00

halloween2005 (5)
Originally uploaded by QuinnStarr.

Fun, fun pic...

Pic of the day...

2005-10-30T20:19:00.000-08:00

Wink
Originally uploaded by * Honey *.

Pretty girl making a face...I'm so predictable. Love the way the B/W side draws you into the picture.

2005-10-09T17:47:00.000-07:00

Eeek. It's been a long time since I rock and rolled.

Ok, so it appears that I've been derelict in my blogging duties. There is nothing like the bitchslap that can sometimes happen when life thinks you're getting cocky. I hadn't really shot in a couple of weeks and I've got nothing new to bring to the table. Which will change soon. Promise.

Anywho, here's the pic of the day for the last couple of weeks. But it's a good one. It's of Sin City actress Carla Gugino in a swimming pool.

Ah, it's a good one.

Pic of the day..

2005-09-19T21:09:00.000-07:00

nocturnal freakdom
Originally uploaded by karmakord.

Gorgeous, oh so gorgeous...I can't stop looking at this pic.

2005-09-18T22:09:00.000-07:00

SPOTTED!!

More places I've found my stuff...

http://moe1970.blogspot.com/2005/07/bride-on-run-marilyn-iv.html/
http://attusdiscovery.blogspot.com/2005_09_15_attusdiscovery_archive.html
http://albumcseabra.blogspot.com/2005_07_01_albumcseabra_archive.html

Sleepy now. Must sleep. Gotta study for three different exams on tuesday. Gnah!

Pic of the day..

2005-09-18T20:10:00.000-07:00

red me
Originally uploaded by raven69367.

Ok, Ok, you know I like redheads, but the expression on this picture is love, isn't it? The moment when you notice that your significant other is just staring at you quietly. It's unnerving at first, the watching, until you see it in their eyes, that the only thing in this whole world that can make everything right for just a little while is to lean over and give them a kiss.

The unfair thing is that is appears to be pointed at me right now and I know that's just an illusion. Gnah!

Great pic by the way...

Pic of the day...

2005-09-16T07:37:00.000-07:00

Spiders Crawl In Your Mouth When You Sleep!
Originally uploaded by SherriGee.

Maybe this blog should be called: "Pretty Girls making faces..."

Maybe I should write something pithy and deep to accent this...mmm....nah, too early to be pithy.

On the homefront, financial difficulties may make it harder to keep up the stream of good stuff. I'm not sure that I can really stop though. Photography is a sickness.

If you haven't been by my photostream www.flickr.com/photos/fmlphotography in awhile, take a look! I'm taking a slight hiatus from nudes (ever so slight) to make sure my skills don't atrophe in other places. Check out the new pics of Virginia and Silver (a lot more of Silver to come soon). Plus new pics of a Nepalese dancer friend of mine to come early next week.

I'm not giving up nudes forever or even for a longish while, hell, I even got a nude shoot tonight. I just want to see if I can make my clothed stuff as interesting as my nudes.

Pic (s) of the Day (s)....

2005-09-13T20:32:00.000-07:00

crabbin'
Originally uploaded by crab in the bucket.

Dunno what it is about this pic. Is it because I'm a slobbering Guinness fan? Is it the pretty girl with glasses? Is it the fact that I have no idea of what's going on with the crab and the stout?

Maybe I think too much about these things.

Pic of the ....

2005-09-11T23:06:00.000-07:00

no title
Originally uploaded by solea.

Ah, just go see her photostream already: http://www.flickr.com/photos/solea/

Also Pic of the Day

2005-09-11T23:04:00.000-07:00

la niña y el melocotón
Originally uploaded by solea.

Oops, I saw this one after I saw the earlier one and I can't decide whether or not I should take the other one down and leave this one up .... or... Jeez...

Pic of the Day...

2005-09-11T23:02:00.000-07:00

Bubblelicious
Originally uploaded by solea.

So lovely.

Pic of the Day...

2005-09-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

Blondie -04
Originally uploaded by Violentz.

Thanks to My Misnomer for this one...

It's obvious: I love pics of beautiful women being silly and I'm now officially on the lookout for a model I can do shots like this one.

Man, I'm jealous!

Pic of the Day #2

2005-09-09T01:19:00.000-07:00

lunch time
Originally uploaded by Beautiful Things in the World.

You know me, I'm a sucker for beautiful women just letting loose...

Pic of the Day #1...

2005-09-09T00:48:00.000-07:00

speakhole2
Originally uploaded by eeyorenada.

...can't wait for the day that Flickr will allow for more than one pic in a blog entry...until then...

Love this pic but probably not as much as the name: "Speakhole2" I know I'm going to be wandering around, repeating that word endlessly. "Speakhole"

Pic of the Day...

2005-09-05T23:31:00.000-07:00

Kenzie and Mr. Nepal
Originally uploaded by Kenzie Nepal.

Ok, maybe not the technically best pic out there, but it is a pic of two of the two best people out there.

It's Kenzie and EroticMaverick, two of my pals from Flickr and they produce some of the finest erotica out there. It's raw, but it's interesting, well shot, well composed and tells a story (sometimes one you don't really want to hear, but can't turn away.) I am officially jealous of their lighting and composition skills.

These two are crazy sick in love and as it sometimes happens, they're gonna go and get married. The divorced guy in me wants to stand up and yell "RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!", but the romantic in me bitchslaps the other guy. I can see their love for each other in their eyes and it makes me so jealous.

So, raise your glasses and join me in a toast of these two people who are about to do one of the more foolhardy and romantic things that two people can do. Maybe it's the southern heat, but damn I wish I was crazy like them.

SALUT!

2005-09-04T08:07:00.000-07:00

I'M MATURING....I THINK

The French have a word for it: Ennui. It's perfect and I think it says a lot about the people who can coin a word that means "general sense of dissatisfaction about things" like the way the Innuits have many words for "snow" and the Japanese have many words for "loss." Ladies and Gentlemen, I, Fantastic Media Labs, am suffering from Ennui.

Think of it as a creative middle aged crisis. Virginia was (maybe still is) suffering from the same thing. I may have caught it for her. Creatively, I'm doing the same thing that I was doing but it's not fulfilling me in the same way. For Virginia, she wanted to take a break from all of it, get to the point where life takes care of itself again and distance herself so that she can actively miss it. I can't do that because I have the attention span of a goldfish. If I set my camera down for a period of time, I'm afraid that I won't pick it back up again because I've moved on to the next great thing (Clog dancing? )

Case in point, My very first pic:

I like it, I may even love it. But I'm not in love with it, not the way that I used to be. Maybe it's the technical aspects of it (shot on a $150 kodak camera), but it doesn't feed me the same way.

And now, one of my more recent pics:

I enjoy this pic alot: the lighting is better, the texture of her hair, her eyes - CHRIST, her eyes! I do love this pic, but is it fantastic?

I know what the answer is: more high concept stuff, like this one:

I want more thought in the pic, I want more engagement from the viewer, more "great composition" and less "nice tits." And that's all my fault because I haven't been putting the work in yet. I feel like a frustrated two year old who desperately wants something, but he has no way of expressing it yet. I want more out of me.

I'm paraphrasing Bono from the "Rattle and Hum" movie here, but I want to "dream it all over again." I want my swing, my sway and my straw in lemonade again.

Pic(s) of the day....

2005-09-03T21:53:00.000-07:00

take that!
Originally uploaded by my_misnomer.

Sorry that it's been awhile for updates, but life's gotten interesting and the blog does better when it's dull around here.

Again, I love pics of beautiful women making faces at the camera. I like the juxtaposition. My dream is to have a camera shoot with the most goreous woman I can find....and put her in a chicken suit.

I can dream, can't I?

Pic of the day....

2005-08-20T14:51:00.000-07:00

amanda nude
Originally uploaded by sucka pants.

Man, oh man, does my lighting suck!

2005-08-18T18:55:00.000-07:00

BACK

I'm back from Denver, a little sadder and a lot poorer. I never realized how much I miss my friend Virginias company. It was a fun, but tiring three days (sleeping on hardwood floors - bad for you.)

I do miss her greatly.

SPOTTED
http://www.flickrlicio.us/2005/08/04/

I don't think I saw that one before. So hard to tell anymore.

2005-08-15T16:48:00.000-07:00

GOING TO DENVER...

I'm writing this when I should really be packing. I'm going to Denver in a few minutes to go stay with Virginia for a while. I miss her terribly and I got this wide open hole in my schedule, so I'm getting outta dodge. We're going to shoot, hang out, have fun. Keep your eyes peeled for brand new pics.

SPOTTED
http://www.flickrlicio.us/2005/08/05/

Now, I know that my pics, the really popular ones have nudity. I can see that may be a good or bad thing - I mean, how hard is it to take a good picture of a pretty girl? I'm not going to stop certainly, I've got three new models coming soon, but it does kinda give me pause.

Pic of the Day...

2005-08-15T00:39:00.000-07:00

aidsboy
Originally uploaded by darkbeans.

Disturbing. Love it.

Pic of the Day...

2005-08-13T23:02:00.000-07:00

fairy's time
Originally uploaded by Tatiana Cardeal.

A lovely pic from Tatiana Cardeal.

Man, I wish I could've taken this pic. I need to play with color more

Pic of the Day....

2005-08-11T18:40:00.000-07:00

mad
Originally uploaded by Rock.a.Lil.

I love this stuff, the unconscious stuff. The stuff that isn't posed, or not so you'd notice.

Since I started taking pictures of my own, being a producer instead of a consumer, I've noticed that what I find attractive about a woman has changed. Now: it's the lift of an eyebrow, the strong line of a well defined jaw and this case, a scrunched nose.

I really like scrunched noses.

2005-08-10T17:09:00.000-07:00

SPOTTED!

More blogged pics:

http://www.flickrlicio.us/index.php?s=fantastic+media
http://evolutionphoto.blogspot.com/2005_06_27_evolutionphoto_archive.html
http://evolutionphoto.blogspot.com/2005_06_28_evolutionphoto_archive.html
http://evolutionphoto.blogspot.com/2005_07_18_evolutionphoto_archive.html
http://movil.be/index.php?s=delicious.p&tag=underwear
http://flickrtitties.blogspot.com/2005_07_01_flickrtitties_archive.html

2005-08-10T05:51:00.000-07:00

SPOTTED! AGAIN!

Seems like I'm up for a "Flicky" for best portraits or something. Go vote for me! :
http://naccarato.org/theFlickys/?page_id=59

More blogged pics:
http://www.blogmarks.net/tag/Portrait
http://feedmelinks.com/76879
http://creative-mobs.com/portal/tag/hom

Pic of the Day...

2005-08-06T23:08:00.000-07:00

Expulsion
Originally uploaded by Wide_open.

I simply love this picture.

2005-08-06T22:59:00.000-07:00

A Positive Spin

The plus side of all of this HD nonsense is that I am going over every pic that is in the directory - all 50,000 of them. It's not fun, not in the slightest, but I am become very familiar with pics and series that I had long forgotten. That means that I have found pictures that I'm very fond of and didn't remember that they were there. So, expect new pics soon!

2005-08-06T20:13:00.000-07:00

Eeek.

The reclaimation of my pics is going slowly, but I have hope. I've got one directory with over 57,000 files, all named "Found File 0001-Found File 57000." It's rather like someone has gone through your library, tore out all the pages and threw them in the air. You expect that all the pages may be there, but you wont know until you go through them all.

So far, I've made a pretty good dent in my DVD pile. This is going to be a very time consuming project.

On a lighter note, I did a test shoot with a new model, pseudonym to come later. Very beautiful, very sexy, very small. Photos to come later.

That is if I don't lose this %*$&# drive.

My artistic conundrum

2005-08-05T16:21:00.000-07:00

Awoke
Originally uploaded by Fantastic Media Labs.

I think it's obvious to all that I love women, which may be a problem. For instance, it's difficult to find inspiration in taking pictures of things that are not women unless there are women in the picture. Sickness?

For instance, I haven't been shooting in what felt like weeks (5 days) and I decided that I shouldn't wait until a model's schedule clears up. I decided that I needed to shoot something other than a pretty girl.

So, I went on a little photo safari in our downtown shopping district. Main street has a rich history, with old buildings, sculptures, faded advertising signs and a patchwork of decay and paint.

Well, I went and started taking a ton of pics, the problem was that I wasn't doing any interesting work. I wasn't bringing anything to the table that wasn't already there. There wasn't enough of myself in the pic, just angles that all pedestrians get to see anyways.

I was getting a tad frustrated, when I noticed that a young woman with a small blonde girl was watching me take pictures. Turns out she's a sister of a friend of mine, Wino, and he was shooting his first music video. We ended up in the live venue next to Chupiros Bar and and all of Wino's friends and family were there.

It reminded me of how small my world really is. I didn't know that talent of that level existed in my small little mountain town. Rappers, Dancers, getting together to entertain themselves and others. I looked at the liner notes of the Illfluent demo with kudos from KRS-One and Shock G (I've been a huge fan of his for years). I went through snapping pics, watching people hanging out and waiting for the shoot.

So, why are all my good pics of women? I took a lot of shots, but the ones that appeal to me are the ones of Awoke, Wino's sister and the other female dancers. Is this a problem? Or is this a mileu?

Pic of the day.

2005-08-05T15:43:00.000-07:00

Foam
Originally uploaded by vebelfetzer.

Wonderful pic by Vebelfetzer. The Lord loves a redhead!

Vacation is all I ever wanted....

2005-08-04T23:00:00.000-07:00

100_4234 copy
Originally uploaded by Fantastic Media Labs.

A mini one, but a vacation nonetheless. I'm going to go see Virginia in the big city and camp out with her for awhile, taking pictures, catching up, etc.

It's been about two months since I've seen her and I'm terribly excited. She and I have been working hard since we seen each other last and we've both grown in skills. Virginia will always be my favorite model because of the sheer energy, will and fun she brings to each shoot. No request too outlandish, no idea too freaky. We're good friends and it'll be (hopefully) a fun and relaxed time.

I also hope to work with Girly as well, plus hopefully another model. Keep an eye out.

Oh and about that "daily updates" thing: Well, I've been doing some private pics for a friend of mine, plus the catastrophic loss of a HD = no daily pics. I'm working my ass off to get back in the swing though.

2005-08-04T01:56:00.000-07:00

SPOTTED, REDUX!

A fellow blogger sent me his links, http://wwww.richmondsucks.blogspot.com/. He's been collecting some really interesting stuff and it makes jealous/wanna work harder because of all the good stuff on there.

Meet Girly...

2005-08-02T18:51:00.000-07:00

ES3
Originally uploaded by denver_girly.

Girly's a friend of mine, or at least a Pen Pal, from Denver. She's terrific! Check her stuff out!

2005-08-02T18:43:00.000-07:00

GOD HATES ME

Or rather, Western Digital. Lordy, oh Lordy, do I hate them.

Lemme tell you about my weekend: My computer won't boot, even in safe mode. It keeps going until it hangs at the logon screen and stays there. So, I copy the HD from my computer to a brand new USB 8-1 Media Storage Center drive from WD. It takes damn near forever, but it finishes. I check it on another computer: the files are there and are fine.

Then I reinstall Windows. Time to put the old files back on and....nothing. The WD drive won't be recoginzed by the computer anymore. Uh-uh. No way. Try the drive on another machine, no way.

Then it hits me: All, get that, ALL of my pics are on the drive. Or were. CRAP.

Right now, I'm doing a deep level scan of the HD to find out if there are still files to save. Prognosis is good - I'm gonna get something back, I'm sure. But I hate to think that I may have lost 12,000 pics, even if a goodly portion were crap.

Boys and Girls - Back your stuff up. Learn from your Uncle Fantastic.

2005-07-31T00:59:00.000-07:00

SPOTTED, AGAIN

Ok, so as soon as I hit enter, I got to bright idea to Google some of my picture names and see what I can find. Ohhh mama. Turns out that my pics have been blogged more than I knew.

http://idealideal.blogspot.com/2005/07/belted-virginia-vi.html
http://nixclusive.blogspot.com/2005_07_24_nixclusive_archive.html
http://blackbullpatio.blogspot.com/2005_07_01_blackbullpatio_archive.html
http://evolutionphoto.blogspot.com/2005/06/warm-marilyn.html
http://evolutionphoto.blogspot.com/2005/06/contemplating-misti.html
http://evolutionphoto.blogspot.com/2005/06/adjust-stockings1.html
http://evolutionphoto.blogspot.com/2005/06/picture-492-smaller.html
http://evolutionphoto.blogspot.com/2005/06/02-21-05-070.html
http://flickrnudes.blogspot.com/2005/07/cowgirl-virginia-from-rear.html
http://flickrnudes.blogspot.com/2005/07/pink-misti-glow.html
http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?html=1&id=omit
http://idealideal.blogspot.com/

Theres more, but it's late and I don't wanna be up no more.... Late, late

2005-07-31T00:50:00.000-07:00

SPOTTED! I have found out that my pics are getting around, getting around. It's flattering to stumble across one of your pics on someone elses blog. I dig it!

Heres a few that I found :

http://chicksnbreasts.blogspot.com/2005_07_01_chicksnbreasts_archive.html
http://flickrbooty.blogspot.com/2005_07_14_flickrbooty_archive.html
http://flickrbooty.blogspot.com/2005_07_11_flickrbooty_archive.html
http://flickrbooty.blogspot.com/2005_07_08_flickrbooty_archive.html
http://flickrbooty.blogspot.com/2005_07_01_flickrbooty_archive.html
http://flickrbooty.blogspot.com/2005_06_27_flickrbooty_archive.html
http://flickrnudes.blogspot.com/2005/07/virginia-in-headlights-iii.html

If anyone spots any more of my stuff other than my Flickr portfolio, lemme know, ok?

Goodbye Marilyn

2005-07-30T09:15:00.000-07:00

Goodbye Marilyn
Originally uploaded by Fantastic Media Labs.

Marilyn left sometime this morning, I think.

I came by last night to drop off some new pics for her portfolio and her house was approximately half done. Her friend Josh was there, patient but exhausted. In the middle of the living room was dozens of midsize boxes taken from behind liquor stores from all over the city. The kitchen wasn't dissasembled, the fishtank was still full of fish and her bedroom - Christ, her bedroom - was just as it ever was: messy, cluttered and very very girly.

"Oh, I'll be done by morning," she said. Always such the optimist.
"I hope for you." I said, always such the pessimist.

I took a walk through her house, taking pictures, chronicling the chaos. She was going to stay up all night and finish. She was sure that would be the case. Josh's eyes were drooping. I wasn't so sure.

On her bed was another gift from another model, someone I was going to meet monday or tuesday. It was a picture album with photos from this other life that Marilyn had. She was almost unrecognizable, but that made sense. She could change her persona at will. I've got pictures where she looked every bit of the girl next door and where she looked like she could break your heart, steal your money and you'd still leave your wife for her. Looking through the album, I was a little sad that I didn't know her well enough not to be surprised by the pictures in there. There was a huge epic story behind her, and I only got to see a glimpse of it. Maybe it's because that's all I could see or that she was canny enough to hide it from me without making an effort. Like this masterful emotional magic trick.

Why am I talking like she's dead? How DO you say goodbye to someone without making it sound like a eulegy?