FMLPhotoblog

Thoughts and whatnot from FML Photography

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

 
In defense of Riggs

Ok, so he hates jews. Does that make him a bad person? I mean, really?

Maybe a little?

I don't think it matters much that Mel Gibson hates jews. I wrote him off as swivelheaded crazy a long time ago when he started making movies about cool guys that get tortured to death (way to flog a dead martyr, Melvin). So, his daddy thinks that the Holocaust didn't happen or thinks that it wasn't quite as awful as everyone believes. So, he thinks his wife is going to Hell for backing the wrong horse. So, he's an awful suicidal drunk and calls female police officers "Sugar Tits." He's buggier than a bums blanket and deep down, we all kinda knew it didn't we? So why are we surprised?

Is it because he's gorgeous? I mean absolutely freakin' handsome?

Is it because he's a Christian?

Is it because he's rich?

Is it because he's politically conservative?

For me, it's because he's being Riggs.


Think about it - Riggs was a loose cannon, weeping over the loss of his wife, bottle in hand, gun in mouth - ready to embrace the oblivion by painting the back of his head on the back wall by his beach side home. In that moment of indecision where Riggs gathers the strength to put down his gun and make it through one more night, it wouldn't seem out of character to suddenly say something negative about the jews, would it? (Gary Busey played the guy that killed Rigg's wife and has just played a jewish doctor in "Valley of the Wolves: Iraq." In this movie, he cuts out and sells the organs of prisoners of war. Doesn't this, by a twisted extension of logic, give him a reason to dislike the Chosen People?)

This sort of disconnect, the sort of weird feeling that maybe the actor isn't that far from the character, isn't anything new. Nick Nolte walks that fine line alot with his special brand of "aggrevated crazy." Remember when they picked him on that same stretch of Malibu highway - unshaven and hair akimbo - and he just looked like he flipped his lid? Well, he hadn't - he was just working on the Hulk movie. Or a little of both?

Anywho, Melvin Gibstien done screwed up good and oddly enough, here's a place where leaders in the Jewish community are shining - they're forgiving him. They have his platinum covered balls in his hand and instead of crying foul and using him as a whipping post, they're saying "If you're sorry, then we forgive you." And damage control or not, Mel's doing the right thing by asking for atonement and going through and calling Jewish Hollywood agents and telling them that he was sorry for acting like a dick.

See how this works Tom Cruise?

Thursday, July 20, 2006

 
Business as Usual...

Virginia's coming and I'm cleaning. It's oh so Pavlovian.

PS - The new Safe Sync works. It's time to get back on that ol' picture taking horse.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

 
Public Apology to Virginia.

Ok, ok - you were right about clutter, OH-KAY? There's no need to belabor the point any longer, you were right and I was wrong. Who knew that it would take me two weeks to pack my two bedroom apartment and another two plus weeks unpacking the stuff. Yes, you were right that I didn't need all that stuff and I think I'm a big enough man to admit it.

What?

Sigh.

ALRIGHT, you were also right about eating healthier and I'd feel better. I get that now. Sure, at first, when I went #2 I was only passing cellulose and it looked like I was pooping confetti but now I sleep better and I have more energy. Yep, yep. You - Right. Me - wrong.

You're not gonna make me do the monkey dance are you?

*FINE*

(Chimp noises and a great pantless flinging of arms ensue)

 
B & W Selene

Ok, I'm trying something new out here, I'm gonna detail the process of each shoot I do with the aim of not boring the living crap out of you (myself, actually - no one really reads this thing). I'm using my Flickr portfolio to help drive traffic over here in hopes that I can become even more desperately attention hungry.

Ahem.

If you haven't met Selene yet, you're missing out. She's this loud, fun girl that can make you laugh - gorgeous red hair (although, I think I secretly wish all my female models are redheads - I only have one who truly is and she's too busy to shoot because she's becoming a more successful photographer than I am. Ah, the luck), light eyes, an infectous laugh and not shy in the slightest. She came to the Goddess shoot ready to do whatever because it sounded like a hoot to her. Did I mention that I really like working with her?

She'd been out of town for awhile and she came back. I said I wanted to shoot her, she said yes - complete no brainer.

Unfortunately, my Wein Soft Sync Hot Shoe to Hot Shoe adapter bit the dust. When I get stressed, as the death of a $60 three month old piece of equipment can stress you out, I obsess. I spent the first hour messing with the flash, trying to get it to work. Selene, Bhudda bless her, stood there nude, waiting for me to figure something out. Eventually, I was forced to bring out the hot lights (something like 400 degrees when lit).

This is something that is completely last resort. The lights are too hot to diffuse cheaply ($60 lightbox and a $80 speedring) so, I have to bounce the lights and shoot on a tripod at a slow shutter speed or risk annoying hotspots in the lights. After some trial and error, I decided that I'd rather have the picture be intentionally dark than try to push it to do something only my flashkit can do.

I'm proud.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

 
Ads That Disturb Me

I'm an ad nut. My day job is in advertising and I love the challenges that come with trying to tell a story or sell a product in 30 seconds. However, some ads disturb me, like to the point where I can't sleep anymore.

OnlyVegas.com

http://cache.ultramercial.com/d/001-303/vegas_flash_sl.html

This ad, as far as I can tell, is about the beginning of the end of a relationship. Girlfriend goes to vegas with her friends and .....something happened...... You can feel the boyfriends twisted gut as he finds a nice way to ask "WHAT DID YOU DO IN VEGAS, WHORE?" The look of shame on her face implies that she may or may not have taken on the entire aerial ballet team at Cirque De Solie, but isn't sure because of all the giant $1.00 margaritas she guzzled down on Fremont street. This 30 seconds reminds me of the scene in "Indecent Proposal" where Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore tap dance around the obvious questions the morning after the walking wrinkle Robert Redford banged Demi for a suitcase full of cash.

Super Soaker's The Ooozinator

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdAIt4MgnHc

Man, I kept waiting for the laughter of a Saturday Night Live audience on this one. Dis-tur-bing. Note that some of the kids enjoy this toy just a little too much.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

 
The promise to my 12 year old self (At Ginny's urging):

The thing that keeps me sane at work is the Penn Jillette show podcast. Penn's carny trash smart ass attitude really fits in well with the talk-show format and sounds like what Bill O'reilley would sound like if he suddenly decided to respect other peoples opinions and admitted he doesn't know shit about poop.

The day the David Copperfield mugging story hit the wires, Penn made a point that has stuck for me for about a month: David Copperfield kept the promise he made to his 12 year old self. When someone stuck a gun to his face and demanded his wallet, David Copperfield didn't panic and didn't give the robbers his stuff. He kept a promise to himself.

I have done magic before, nothing too good, the idea of practicing a pinky breaks over and over again bored me to tears. I was always more of a juggler, but the idea is the same. When 12 year old David practiced double lifts in his room over and over again, he must've fantasized about the day that someone would put him in a difficult situation and how he would use magic to get out of it.

And that's what happened that night in Florida. When presented with a gun in his face, He palmed his wallet, showed the robber that his pocket was empty and put it back into his pocket. Nothing spectacular, as a matter of fact, palming is one of the basest building blocks of all magic. It's what the period or the comma is to writers. But it was so simple, so effective that little Davey Copperfield could be nothing but proud of his older self.

So, this got me thinking about if I had honored my younger self. I've had so many dreams as a kid, it would have been hard to choose just one and I realized that my life has been dedicated to my 12 year old self. I've had many jobs that have just scratched the itch of deciding what I wanted to do. Of my dreams, I've been a:

Chef - I was a cook at Country Kitchen when I was 18 - Taco Bell burrito wrapper 2 years earlier.
Writer - Wrote for the Promised Land magazine for three years
Actor - Did plays in the community for about 10 years
Director - Did my first movie about 4 years ago
Doctor - was an optician - A huge stretch, but my mother who never takes my advice about anything uses my poorly informed advice on eye care matters. I usually give her a referral.
Photographer for Playboy - Well, we can see where this is going.....

Of course, my 12 year old perception of all of these jobs weren't even close to being accurate. Being a short order cook isn't the same thing as being a chef, but I found out that I sweat way too much behind a grill. Writing bummed me out because you never see the effort behind the craft. No one gets to see the Herculean strain that comes from honing a sentence to sound conversational and effortless. I usually watched in horror as their eyes slid over the page, seemgingly not reading a damn thing to hand it back to me with a non-committal "Mmmhmm, it's good."

I did the acting thing and I really enjoyed it, but I got jealous that other people's family came to watch the performance and I could never get mine to show up. Directing was a chore and the toughest part is convincing others that you knew how this jigsaw puzzle was going to edit together when you hadn't had a clue yourself. And becoming an Optician was a fancy way of not starving to death.

Photography however is panning out. I did keep the promise that I made to my 12 year old self, most likely made with a lump in my pants and surrounded by purloined Playboys. I said to myself that when I grew up, I would surround myself with beautiful women and take pictures of them, clothes or no. And I do.

Of course, the shame of it is that I can never go back and tell him what this sort of photography is really like. I meet wonderful, beautiful, sexy people and they become my friends. I care about them deeply and take great pains to protect their identites and make sure they're represented in a manner that honors them. I spend hours pouring over their photos, anguishing over whether or not I got what I set out to do and remove zits, stretch marks and scars. The best part is seeing the confidence grow out of someone who was unsure about themselves or discovered something new about themselves. That the poses and the looks that I used to stare at for hours is the collaboration of a light guy, a makeup artist, a photo retoucher, the model and photographer. Even then, the miraculous shots are quicksilver. It's a lot of work to look like no work at all. That and you get to know some models so well, that they become friends and family.

I wish I could tell little FML that. That and Stephen Wayada doesn't bang his models. It's a no-no.





Monday, May 15, 2006

 















The Goddess Show

As promised, some pics...



 
Der Farshlugginer Music Quiz.

I tend not to do these, but since Miss Ginny asked so nicely.....

1. Of all the bands/artists in your cd/record collection, which one do you own the most albums by?
Tie between Oingo Boingo and They Might be Giants

2. What was the last song you listened to?
"Go-Go Gadget Gospel" by Gnarls Barkley - My new summer song.

3. What’s in your record/cd player right now?
Demon Days - Gorillaz, Some Kind of Blue - Miles Davis, The Handler - Har Mar Superstar

4. What song would you say sums you up?
Can I be summed up in a three minute song? The only thing that sticks in my head is "End of the Tour" by They Might Be Giants. It's about the desire to return to normality after their tour is over. Problem is, the tour won't end until the end of the world. It's sung to someone the narrator loves who understands if they can't stick around til the end of the world to meet. After all the problems that led me to the Goddess Show, I could sympathise.

5. What’s your favorite local band?
I'd have to say it's Illfluent, only because I know no other bands.

6. What was the last show you attended?
Eek. Page/Plant about eight years ago.

7. What was the greatest show you’ve ever been to?
U2's Outside broadcast tour. God it was beautiful.

8. What’s the worst band you’ve ever seen in concert?
I saw Poison in concert in Kansas City in the eighties sometime. Went because a friend of mine was desperately in love with them and would masterbate to the cover of "Look what the cat dragged in" no matter how many times we'd tell him that they weren't chicks.

9. What band do you love musically but hate the members of?
The Smiths. Morrissey is a pain in the ass.

10. What show are you looking forward to?
I wanna see Beck, Har Mar Superstar, Rob Zombie

11. What is your favorite band shirt?
A black and red Stones shirt.

13. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
Rob Zombie. I like him as a musician, director and artist. He was an art director on "Pee Wee's Playhouse" and has decorated his house to look like the Haunted Mansion. I bet we could hang out, eat BBQ and watch us some southern gothic horror movie.

14. What musician would you like to be in love with for a day?
And have them love me back? I would think Liz Phair would be a hell of a lotta fun.

15. Metal question-Jeans and Leather vs. Cracker Jack clothes?
Fuck metal.

16. Sabbath or solo Ozzy?
Solo… yes, solo.

17. Commodores or solo Lionel Ritchie?
The first choice.

18. Punk rock, hip hop or heavy metal?
In that order.

19. Doesn’t Primus suck?
Only to the unimaginative.

20. Name four flawless albums:
U2 - Zooropa
TMBG - Mink Car
Van Morrison - Moondance
Violent Femmes - Violent Femmes
Michael Jackson - Thriller (The "Wow, this made me so much money, I can now touch children with impunity" album)

21. Did you know that filling out this survey makes you a music geek?
Or browbeaten by an on again/off again redheaded model

22. What was the greatest decade for music?
I'd have to say eighties, only because that's where my music interests begin.

23. How many music-related videos/dvds do you own?
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Grease
Cannibal the Musical
Michael Jackson the Videos
Oingo Boingo - Farewell
Giant!
True Stories
BNL
U2 Video Collection
U2 Popmart

24. Do you like Journey?
Oh my yes.

25. Don’t try to pretend you don’t!
See above.

26. What is your favorite movie soundtrack?
The Dumb and Dumber soundtrack

27. What was your last musical "phase" before you wisened up?
I go through them all the time. I'm so damn impressionable. I'm going through my Dangermouse phase right now. A month or two ago was my "Beck" phase.

28. What’s the crappiest CD/record/etc. you’ve ever bought?
I can't narrow it down, but I'm sure it's either "Chunky A" by Arsenio Hall, "The Crypt Keeper presents" or something with Freddy Krueger on it. Or whatever the last two albums past "Bad" by Michael Jackson was...

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

 
253

Some water weight and hopefully a little more. Seven down, 63 to go.

It's easy, right?

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